Blend in...

Has it ever happened to you? Trying to fit into a group, trying to pretend to be like them so you're accepted? I do sometimes. It's too hard to be an artist in a city where "artist" is either a freak or a very knowledgeable person whose art is in all the galleries and sells for very high prices...

In my block there's a park where moms gather and bring their babies. They talk about lots of things, but most of them are not what I'd like to talk about. And when I talk about art, about internet, about blogs, about music, about my world, they just give me a look, or a nod and keep talking like I'm not there. I don't know if it upset them that I have something I'm passionated about besides caring for my baby. Or they just don't understand it. At this point, I give up. I can talk about the price of the tomatoes or the weather or which neighbor just bought a new car, but only for so long. Not the most interesting talk, but at least I got to talk with some adults in person, for a change. Thank God my baby sleeps early and I have the perfect excuse to go home when I'm plain bored...

Why is it that sometimes the people you get along with the best is the same people who is very far from you?


Anonymous said…
I know just what you mean. There are very very few people I can talk to in person about what I'm truly interested in, and know that they are interested too. That's why I have found the blog world so comforting, to read about people who sort of think the same way and talk about the kind of things I like to talk about too.
The only time I've come close to it in real life is when taking classes in art school, or when teaching art classes or going to drawing groups. It would be nice to have a group of friends who I could meet with in real life who are artists and moms too. It sounds too good to be true!
Anonymous said…
oh danita! you are singing my song, girl!my kids are now almost five and almost eight years old. but when they were babies i was in my local moms club which is a group of stay at home moms who get together at the park. i've never been a quiet girl but at these functions i thought my brain might dry up and fall out of my ear onto my shoe. i didn't want to talk about potty training and breast feeding nonstop. i wanted to talk about colors and textures and movies and flying like a superhero. it took a long time but i eventually found a few other moms who were either artists or at least enjoyed a good book (a really good book not just the latest oprah drivel). hang in there. keep looking for the ones who dress a little bit more brightly than the rest. they are out there. you will find them and then you will have someone to play with. too bad you don't live on m y street!
I can completely understand what you are dealing with. I have always felt like I don't quite fit in with even my family. And I have talked to my hubby recently and asked the same questions you have. Why is it that I feel more accepted by people in the internet world that are geographically so far away while I feel misunderstood by those closest to me? It is a very puzzling and interesting fact, isn't it? Imagine what it must have been like for women artists in the past who didn't have the internet for networking and connecting. A very lonely existence. We are very fortunate. Cindy at Rosehaven Cottage
Anonymous said…
My kids are almost in college and one in high school, and I can soooo remember those days. I look back and think how little I had in common with those other moms, at least until they wanted something made or painted, then they were my new best friend! I say do your own thing and be yourself, you will find some interesting moms! I did eventually and now they are some of my most treasured friends! Three of them are artist and fill my life with inspiration weekly! I spent way too much time worring what others were thinking when I was a young mother, now at 40ish, I have learned to be me and enjoy every minute of it!!! Hang in there!
Wendy said…
You are definately not alone...I experience the exact same thing! I don't even tell people that I make bears for a living, that's how much people don't understand the real me. I, too, am so greatful for blogs and finding other people who "GET IT"!
Sam I Am said…
man've hit the nail on the head!!
i feel that way sometimes with even my own family!
that last statement you made is perfect.. thats how i feel about all my pfatt sistas! why can't i find a friend that is like a pfattie right here in my own neighborhood??
I wish we all lived closer..but this is why i sooo look forward to our annual pfatt pfest! I do hope you could try to come.. i'd LOVE to meet you and join in talk with you about art and blogs and papers and colors..!!!
suzi blu said…
You are super beautifully inspiring, the queen of collage, we all just pale in comparison...
I added you as a link, I hope that is alright - suzi
Anonymous said…
I feel exactly the same way you do. I live in the suburbs where I have nothing in common with anyone around here. When I tell them I make dolls or paint they look at me like I am insane. I long to live close to downtown where all the artists live so I could make friends with someone that has a child and my son would have someone to play with. I get along great and have so much in common with people that are so far away from me also. I feel bad for my 2.5 year old son because he loves being around other kids but I don't like being around their parents. They just don't take me seriously, I guess, and I am not good at pretending to enjoy their company. :(
Danita said…
Thank you all for all you comments. It makes me feel so relieved to know that there are people out there who knows how I feel and have experienced the same things.

I don't tell people I make art either. They just don't get it. They usually want me to paint them a landscape or 3 apples... They don't understand I CREATE. I don't just take one famous painting and copy it... and they don't understand what primitive art is. Or they wonder why all my paintings look old...

Anyway, although I feel alone most of the time, I love being able to communicate to people who truly understand me even if it's just by mail or in the blog.

I'm sorry for my baby too... I wish sometimes my house were full of people coming and going.. but I'm not like that. And my family lives in other city so don't even they can come frequently.

But hey! We will be fine as long as we have internet!
Danita said…
Oh and thanks Suzie for your comment!!!
Anonymous said…
Hi Danita -
I'm a newbie here, but I wanted to stop by and say hello. I have always enjoyed seeing your work on eBay - you are really talented and I hope that someday I can be a fraction of a success as you are with my own art!

As for your recent post, add me to the camp of "you're not alone". As it happens, my hubby and I don't have children and every single one of our friends, do. Hence, we are in the minority and sadly, I feel like the circle is slowly closing us out. It is moments like these that make me pause...and be grateful for what I have, including my online friends (I blog over on LiveJournal, too)...many whom I've had the pleasure of meeting in real life and forging strong friendships with.

Anyway, I just wanted to say hello, and introduce myself. I'm trying to put myself out there a little more. :)
Diane Duda said…
Hi DAnita.
I wanted to let you know that there seems to be a problem with your ebay link. When I click on it from here it says user id not found and also when I try to click on see sellers other items when I'm on ebay I get the same thing.

This is a great post and seems to have hit home with many bloggers. Good thing we have each other. :)

Danita said…
Thank you Diane!

I changed my eBay name from Danitashop to

That's the reason why the link was not working, it is fixed now.

I'll make the official announcement on the Blog this weekend.
Unknown said…
Great piece.Interesting insight, the world of mom's sounds challenging.
Anonymous said…
Taking a break for a moment to read your blog... as creative people (those who are in-tune with the vibes that run through them) are not like everyone else. We are sensitive and thoughtful and not consumed by consumerism (unless of course that is what your ART is about). I realized a few years back that I am just not like any of my usual friends and family. I communicate on a higher lever at most times and like to talk about the fact that the same sun shines on me that does on places like India, Africa, France, and in places where there is suffering as well as much joy. And it all happens simultaneously. Most people are okay with small talk... that deters them from having to get too deep into things that they would rather not think about or deal with.

As a creative person, I can tell you Danita, that you should walk around with a big Cheshire grin on your face. It will intrigue people. I think that even though you might feel as though your talk about your artful passions goes unnoticed, you have made an impression on those that you talk to about it. Surely once they see what you can do, they would be embarrassed that they did not think higher of your conversational sharing! :)

How lucky those people are to be able to be so near you to share your time and space. I would love to have a few minutes of your time to sit and chit-chat and smile at one another. :D
Hi Danita,

Last night I tried to create a new blog for Danita Art and it was taken already. I was curious to see more Danita art and visited your blog. I like your work.
Good luck!



Danita J. Beck, Artist

What's new in my art...
check out my artblogs to see my latest landscapes and photographs.
Lunara said…
Hi Danita.. love your art.. and i understant too what you say.. i only can speak about all i love with my husband.. and with some special people (few).., i dont know you but i can feel you are a sensible, great artist and person.. nice to meet you and i will be enchanted to live near you but i live in mexico hehe..
regards.. 8 )
Heartful said…
I can totally relate!!!

Beautiful art work! I'm going to add you to my links, hope that's ok.

I am reading your post and think to myself," It's so sad you don't leave near me. " :-( I always wished I could share my passions and my interests with people like you. I have been making dolls for years as my daughters were growing up and now ( I'm still sewing ) my fingers are craving to learn how to paint, doodle, collage and journal. sometimes I bring magazines at work such as somerset studio, paper cloth scissors, and books on journaling and collage and collegues look at me with an odd look when I tell them I want to make art. I must say the blog world is a good thing for all of us who want to share with other creative people. I am so new to the internet and blog world, and hope to make my blog a pretty place for everyone to visit. Although lately I have been neglecting it, I admit...shamefully. :-( by the way, Anita, your art is ABSOLUTELY EX.QUI.SITE !!!!!!! You are a constant source of inspiration and you bring joy to my heart and a smile on my face. I wish I had your wonderful talent ! Love ya !
monique from
violette said…
Hello Danita,

I just wanted to let you know how much i love your art! And i understand where you are coming from......people don't "get" that i am an artist and don't sit twiddling my thumbs all day. Even my mom and sister don't value or get what i do. Recently i appeared in a book on Creativity and they didn't buy the book or really even congratulate me. We have to find our own tribe who support us in our creative dreams. So many people don't maybe because they are jealous.....we need to stay away from energy sucking folks and spend more time around people who value us for who we are!

Your art rocks!

Love, Violette
Brenda said…
OMG - I've been creating my entire life and I understand completely - I'm even married to someone who doesn't get it (but he gets the TV if I'm off creating so he doesn't complain LOL!). Thank goodness for my one best friend who DOES, even though we aren't in the same town anymore!
Kids are now grown and gone, and we moved to a new town. I convinced hubby to get an unlisted telephone number, so I don't have to think up excuses not be social! I looove your art - I have to learn to add links to my blog so I can add yours.


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