The big decision...



Today was my little one's first day at school.  It was a decision that took me a long time and sleepless nights to take.  We haven't separated since he was born and it's hard for both of us, but it's all for the better.

I read the other day in Kelly Rae's blog about her struggle with taking a similar decision. She talks about how hard it was for her to combine everything, how to do it all and she thought she wasn't giving her best at any.  It's me right there. In my struggle to do it all I'm doing nothing and my health is compromising as well.  I don't rest enough, I can't find balance. Life here is getting very hectic and something needed to be do about it.  By taking him just a few hours a day I can do some of my personal stuff and hopefully work a bit without interruptions and have more free time when both of my kids arrive home.

I feel a little bit of guilt for that decision,  I feel that I should carve more time for them but also how can I be there fully for them if I'm always thinking about other stuff because I don't have time for it? Am I doing the right thing?  I know lots of moms who take their babies to daycare and frankly I don't know how they mange to do it... how they can let go...  I'm finding it so hard...  but I've been through this process before and and I hope we will both feel Ok about it very soon. I know he's much stronger than I am.

It will be all for the better.

Comments

Alicia said…
Oh you are a very good mum so don't even feel bad about it! It is a good thing for him too, he's going to do lots of interesting things, learn to mix with other children, it's a new life for him too. It's really hard but necessary for both of you, and you will be so happy to find each other again when you pick him up! Lots of love! x
Joanna Dover said…
I agree with Alicia! It's not just about you - I think it's fantastic to allow him the time to socialize with lots of other children, and try new activities etc. I am mom to a 2 year old daughter, and don't plan to have more, so think its vitally important for her to mix with other kids as much as possible. Social interaction of that kind is so important to their development. I want her to be able to function really well in social situations as she grows, and I know as an adult and parent, I can't give her all the learning she needs.

Give your self a break! You are doing a great job with your family/art/body, try not to feel guilty and remember, you are doing it for him, not just for yourself!
jinxxxygirl said…
You know he needs the social skills he will learn there. So please try not to feel too badly. It will be good for him and for you. Be strong mom......Hugs! deb
Cathy Mckean said…
It's good for them to socialize with other children. I know how hard it is to let them go. Just make sure you don't feel pressure from others - follow your instincts and it will be fine!
Mechelle said…
How old is he know? That is hard to find time to create, maintain the home, and be a mom. I struggle with that with a 14,12, and 7yr. old. Be prepared for all the illnesses that come with being with all of those kids.
Hi Danita
I know exactly what you are going through, I made the decision to put Evie in nursery 2 mornings a week & I did feel guilty at first. But she loves it & it gives me freedom to spend some time on my own to get a few things done, then when I pick her up we have the afternoon together which works out really well. She's happy & I'm happy so the guilt melted away.
If its ok with you I will link this post in my blog as it fits perfectly with my Mummy Monday posts doesn't it?
I'm pretty sure your little man will love the time he has there and enjoy the independence too :)
Em xx
Kristin said…
Awe, what a sweet post!
I wish you love and luck with it all - never an easy decision, but I find that some time to myself makes me a better Mommy in the end.
At least I think so, and I'm going with that ;)
Kristin
Daniele Valois said…
oh I understand and struggle with this very thing. And in June I am starting my youngest, turning 3, in a morning preschool. I am looking for balance as well and being a better mother through it all!
Thank you, you are really helping me feeling better about my decision. He's going to be 18 months old in a couple of days... I expect him to cry more but it seems like he's handling it better than me hehehe

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