The pull toy that refused to be pulled... or the story of Danita


I've been thinking a lot about my childhood lately. Maybe because of the paper dolls or maybe because one of my best friends ever since I was born is coming to visit me today... I don't know the reason, what I know is that the child that everybody used to push and pull around is now gone.

I used to be the tallest in my class. Always. And I was the youngest. That was a bad combination. I entered school 1 year before I was supposed to because I was "ready"... or so my parents thought. But I don't think I was. I was too naive to be at school yet... and everybody took advantage of me. And because I was the tallest I was supposed to treat everybody well or else I always was the bully and I always got punished. If they took away my lunch and I took it back I was the bully. If I took their lunch away I was the bully, so I also had to be nice. And that had followed me all my life. For almost 30 years I've been that way, always nice, always trying to be accepted. Always moving out of the way of everybody else so I didn't have any problems with anyone. Well, not anymore. Yesterday something changed in me, and I didn't know I was that strong. Now I have a kid and I cannot and will not let anyone do with me whatever they want. Begining today, I am the pull toy that refuses to be pulled.

Comments

justagirl said…
Goodness me do you know what it was that made this wonderful change?

I always think I am going to stand up to people and things I believe but usually loose my nerve. Good on you for being so strong and I love the image of the pull along horse.

I was always be the shortest in the class, which I guess wasn't so bad. Except for one poor boy who made the mistake of standing behind me. When I stood up my head whacked him right under the nose. It broke and there was lots of blood.

That isn't the only time I have accidentally broken a boys nose... I might be short but I am not gentle.
Danita, I love this and the story/title too!
Magic and Joy!
Lisa!
Ro Bruhn said…
Great story, very similar to my daughters, only we held her back for that extra year, then she was always the eldest and had similar problems.
Your work is beautiful, maybe you could write your story as a children's book and illustrate it.
Krissysart said…
Danita, I consider myself laid back and nonconfrontational. you can mess with me all you want and I'll just shrug it off. But mess with my girls? It's like a demon gets set loose inside me....and i'm laid back no more.
I'm so sorry you had that experience as a kid. What a rotten way to be treated at such a difficult time of life.
Here's to feeling good just as we are!!
Krissy
Victorian Lady said…
Good for you Danita! :)
My Lil is a tall one too...her birthday was 2 months after the cutoff and we waited another year instead ofc having her tested to get in early. It's something I still question myself about, but you helped that a lot today. Thanks! :)

I totally hear ya though... you DON'T mess with Mama Lion! High fiving you over in AZ! :)

Mere
Wyanne said…
Danita - yay!! What a genuine analogy and going your own way (not pulled) is a must! I love your art and thank you so much for your kind comments on my blog.

Love,
Wyanne
Ms Dragonfly said…
good for you!!
Ale said…
Hermosa reflexion Danita y sobre todo el valor que tiene la desicion que has tomado! Tienes una hija hermosa y una vida llena de color y fantasia y tanto tanto talento!
La gente que te aprecia te aceptara siempre como seas.
Creo que vale para todos.
Saludos y bellisima pintura!
crafty said…
hi,
first compliments for you wonderful art work..........very inspiring .
second love this post..........can relate to some of this, being the eldest child. As I tend to listen more than talk, people expect me to listen to their problems and give advice , but, when I do have something to say people just talk over me as if I don't exist or my point of view is of no importance !!!!!.

thanx for the inspiration
ciao
crafty joan in Italy
starting her road in expression via art........
Danita said…
Thank you Joan!
I can totally relate to your problem. I have the same one too. I even stop hanging out with a group of moms because It was like I wasn't there. I was good company if they need one but as long as any of the others were there or I had something to say, If was as I I wasn't there at all.
That's the wonder of blogging... I can speak my mind and I know at least someone out there will hear me out :)
Danita
LuLu said…
Hola Danita! Muchas gracias para sus ayuda muy preciosa y rapida! My son Ulysse was born on September 30, which is the cutoff date for school inscription. He has been the tallest but youngest in primary school, which was perfect but now, he is going to highschool and will be the youngest of this LARGE bunch of teenagers! But I know he can make it! I have teached him not to be pulled, like you phrase it, but also to never be affected by others's stupidity, anger or bullying. To put himself more in the "zen breathing" (like he calls it) state, and imagine the bad stuff flowing off him like on an umbrella... And never, never be affraid to be different from the rest of the bunch... Feliz dia! LuLu
Sabbio said…
Danita,

This finds an echo with my own childhood : always the youngest, one of the tallest and the first in my class... bad combination... lots of other children being mean. Plus I was really shy so I understand your story.
I'm less shy, probably because I became a mother (but I'm still shy, just a bit less ;) )

Thanks for sharing your story with us :D

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