Depression strikes again

Depression is here again. But this time with a reason. I overheard a conversation I wish I never did. It just changed my life and the way I see the world. The worst part is that I can't say what I heard. I must keep the secret and it's so consuming, pretending everything is fine when it's not. I was so upset that I couldn't paint, I just filled my journal with dark pages until yesterday. Yesterday I didn't paint the pages black, I painted them gray. That's how I feel. Gray. Not red with fury, Nor black with anger. Just gray. Like if I were empty. I tried to paint and this painting is all I managed to make. It depicts me just as I am now. I hope to get through this soon. But I know that the part of me that is empty will never fill again.

Comments

Chin up! Maybe a reminder that your work brings many smiles to many people will cheer you.
A Danita Fan
Judy Wise said…
Oh my. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Words can do so much harm. I hope somehow it can be straightened out and that you will feel your joy again. I love your paintings so much and I don't want anyone to hurt you.
mirandas said…
I can identify with what you wrote - that feeling of grayness everywhere. I am sorry you overheard something so upsetting, and sorry, too, that you can't talk freely to someone you trust about it. Art and life will win out over the depression sooner or later, but in the meantime, my sympathies to you.
Annie said…
Hola Danita,
I hope you feel better soon,Really!This is so sad to hear!

Happy thoughts,
Annie
Mica said…
I am so sorry. i will pray for you to have some color or the sun shine in your life. I have no idea what you are going through..but it doesn't matter. Just hang in there and know you have friends whom care. Blessings sweety . I do hope you will have a nice Thanksgiving.

Mica
Shelly said…
depression is a funny thing the way it sneaks up on you....I hear yah! I go to a dark sad place from time to time
Shelly said…
I hear yah! I sometimes have my dark moments......use to be such a hard worker...and so productive....now I struggle
Diane Duda said…
Oh DAnita! I hope you are wrong and you can get past these feelings. I'm sad for you. :(

xo
Diane
Danita said…
Thanks a lot for all your comments, wishes and prayers. They do mean a lot to me and help me heal. You all are so kind to take the time to write. Things are looking better now. Time really helps healing.
MiKa Art said…
I've just read this entry and felt very sad- I hope you are O.K. I wish you happy thanksgiving!
suzi blu said…
Dont take other peoples 'stuff' personally. It is theirs and has nothing to do with you. ever. Dont allow it to affect you. dont indulge it. cause none of it is true! even people that say or do things purposely to hurt you - it just shows how wounded thEy are, not you. you are perfect. you are FABULOUS.
Karla said…
Breath....

Everything is going to be ok in a couple of weeks.

You are a beautiful person...

You can do anything!!!!!!

Popular Posts