Depression strikes again

Depression is here again. But this time with a reason. I overheard a conversation I wish I never did. It just changed my life and the way I see the world. The worst part is that I can't say what I heard. I must keep the secret and it's so consuming, pretending everything is fine when it's not. I was so upset that I couldn't paint, I just filled my journal with dark pages until yesterday. Yesterday I didn't paint the pages black, I painted them gray. That's how I feel. Gray. Not red with fury, Nor black with anger. Just gray. Like if I were empty. I tried to paint and this painting is all I managed to make. It depicts me just as I am now. I hope to get through this soon. But I know that the part of me that is empty will never fill again.